Anger is one of the feelings that tell us we are thinking in a way in which we are disconnected from our needs; and from the Source of life within us; and in a way that is almost guaranteed to not create the connection and cooperation to meet our needs. It also seems to be a reaction tied strongly into the fight-flight survival response at the core of our biology as living organisms. For this reason transforming anger is a key practice for returning to conscious presence and connection with self and others when triggered into a reaction. This ability is based in learnable skills and may also be key to our survival as human beings.
Listen to a sample audio snippet.
The three parts of the enemy image process are:
1) Self empathy for one's own needs not met by the other’s behavior,
2) Self empathy that connects with the needs possibly motivating the other’s behavior, and
3) Emergence of ideas for actions to meet one’s needs, and planning and practice for a conversation or interaction with the other person.
John offers this process in a way that goes deeply into both the presence and language dimensions of the four NVC components of Observation, Feeling, Need, and Request; and also how to see the process within a larger context of a learning/growth spiral of personal evolution. This model can also be used in conflict coaching and pre-mediation sessions to help prepare people for mediation or to “mediate their lives.”