Learn to speak NVC using your own voice and increase ease and flow in all your personal and professional conversations. This 6-session telecourse recording with senior CNVC Certified Trainer Miki Kashtan is designed to help you integrate NVC into all aspects of your life by gaining fluency in your practice of NVC and by embodying the principles regardless of the words you use. This course is based on intensive practice and coaching with real-life examples from participants' lives.
Session 1: The Basics of Making NVC Natural — All of us want our NVC practice to sound natural and appealing to people who are not already part of the NVC community, and yet many of us have had the experience of alienating people through our enthusiastic use of NVC. The focus of this session is understanding why people find NVC expressions alienating, and finding ways to adapt our language to be responsive to others' experience. Our goal in each case is to change the language without losing track of the intentions of the practice.
Session 2: Adapting Our Feelings and Needs Lists — Many of us encounter people who are uncomfortable with any reference to feelings or needs, or people who are only comfortable with some feelings and not others. The focus of this session is removing formal references to feelings and needs while maintaining your attention on your own and others' feelings and needs.
Session 3: From One-Word to Full-Phrase Needs — One of the ways that NVC tends to sound stiff is that we refer to needs using just one word. The focus of this session is naming needs that are specific to the context at hand while still maintaining their general nature and clearly distinguishing needs from strategies. This allows our language to sound more fluid and familiar to others.
Session 4: Removing NVC "Jargon" from Your Speech — Have you noticed how some people develop an aversion to certain phrases that are common in the NVC community, such as "would you be willing to…" or "would you enjoy" or "this meets my need for …?" The focus of this session is identifying some of the key phrases that become repetitive in NVC circles and developing a repertoire of nuanced ways to express yourself to fit the moment.
Session 5: Holding Awareness of NVC Consciousness — Often, when we attempt to naturalize our language, we end up slipping back into a language of judgments and demands just so that we can sound "normal" to those with whom we are talking. The focus of this session is translating judgments – your own and those you hear - in a relaxed manner, without taking them on or judging the other person.
Session 6: When Empathic Reflection Can Be Alienating — In many non-NVC contexts, empathic reflection can trigger others because they experience it as a form of manipulation, condescension, being told what their experience is, or being asked to be vulnerable when it's out of their comfort zone. The focus of this session is expressing what's alive in you as a means to convey empathic understanding to others. Such expression is more familiar and places the vulnerability in our court rather than the other person's, thus creating greater comfort.
Session 7: From Practice to Integration — Often, despite our intention to use NVC for connection, we create situations in which we practice "on" others without their consent. The focus of this session is reaching a level of integration of the principles of NVC that allows the language to emerge from within rather than using a particular set of words, phrases, or formats.